A List of Head-Smackingly Ridiculous News Articles That Should Be Satire But Aren’t
Survival Saturday is a round-up of the week’s news and resources for folks who are interested in being prepared.
This Week in the News
This week, when you read the news below, it may be difficult not to concuss yourself with all of the head-smack-inducing information that follows. This is a list of articles that seem so ridiculous that they should be satire…but they’re not. The Idiocracy is real.
The Village (Idiots) Are Raising the Children
Remember when you were a little kid and did little kid stuff and someone said they would call the police on you and everyone laughed and laughed and laughed? We all knew that it was a ridiculous bluff because the police don’t respond to silly kid stuff.
The times, they are a’changin’ – and not for the better.
Back in those days, the police didn’t trouble themselves “investigating” childish transgressions or baseless classroom accusations. Back in those days, we could be kids and then learn to work things out on our own after we made someone mad. The stuff we did in those days would get someone arrested today.
Last week, the police were summoned to an elementary school in Collingswood, New Jersey because of something that happened at a party, While that may bring to mind the image of a shifty little 3rd grader spiking the punch with a flask of booze, it was nothing of the sort. Apparently, a little boy made a “racist” comment about a brownie. Apparently, the teacher didn’t actually hear the comment and only heard another child yell, “Hey, that’s racist.” So far, no one has any idea with the brownie-commenting boy said, but the police were called to deal with the situation and the boy was sent home in shame. The case has been turned over to the New Jersey Division of Child Protection and Permanency.
Read this article, which speaks of other horrifying “crimes” like hugging a friend and twirling a pencil threateningly.
Meanwhile, in New York City, rich parents are paying hefty tuition – up to $45,850 per year – so that their kids can
be brainwashed and psychologically abused – um – I mean a) be praised for being “of color” or b) be shamed for being white. A school administrator has developed a unique way to fight discrimination, “An elite Manhattan school is teaching white students as young as 6 that they’re born racist and should feel guilty benefiting from “white privilege,” while heaping praise and cupcakes on their black peers.”
This will absolutely work, because, you know, giving privileges to one group while making the other group feel like dog poo has always ended up with everyone hugging and being equal and not disliking someone else based on the color of their skin.
(This whole “It Takes a Village to Raise a Child” nonsense was started by none other than presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton, FYI.)
Every time something bad happens with a gun, the Gun Wars crank up again. While pro-gun folks are perfectly content to own their firearms and not force anti-gun folks to own firearms, it seems that the anti-gun folks want everything their way. They don’t want guns and they don’t want you to have guns either.
One legislator took it a step further in a nearly incoherent rant during which he called gun owners and NRA members names like dirty, filthy, and crazy, accused us of being “supporters of terror,” and called for bars of soap for a good mouth-washing. You can watch the unbelievably unprofessional attack on an NRA representative who addressed the state congress HERE. (And you can also marvel at how on earth someone who has such exceptionally poor elocution skills managed to become an elected official. I guess it’s true. In America, you really can become anything you want – and you don’t even need to be qualified!)
The exception to this is the members of Congress who feel that only they should have guns and the rest of us should wait for 911. 26 of the Democrats who sat on the floor, toddler-style, during the gun control sit-in, actually own guns themselves. Hypocrisy much? As my good friend quoted from George Orwell’s pig, “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.” (source)
Presidential Nominee Investigated for Espionage
When you leave out any names, how utterly ridiculous does that headline sound? Why is it somehow less ridiculous to Democrats when Hillary Clinton’s name is in there? I’ve long seen distinct problems with the critical thinking skills of many Americans, but this takes the cake.
This weekend, the FBI will be questioning Hillary Clinton about the email scandal when she was serving as Secretary of State. Quick refresher on the duties of the Secretary of State:
- Serves as the President’s principal adviser on U.S. foreign policy;
- Conducts negotiations relating to U.S. foreign affairs;
- Grants and issues passports to American citizens and exequaturs to foreign consuls in the United States;
- Advises the President on the appointment of U.S. ambassadors, ministers, consuls, and other diplomatic representatives;
- Advises the President regarding the acceptance, recall, and dismissal of the representatives of foreign governments;
- Personally participates in or directs U.S. representatives to international conferences, organizations, and agencies;
- Negotiates, interprets, and terminates treaties and agreements;
- Ensures the protection of the U.S. Government to American citizens, property, and interests in foreign countries;
- Supervises the administration of U.S. immigration laws abroad;
- Provides information to American citizens regarding the political, economic, social, cultural, and humanitarian conditions in foreign countries;
- Informs the Congress and American citizens on the conduct of U.S. foreign relations;
- Promotes beneficial economic intercourse between the United States and other countries;
- Administers the Department of State;
- Supervises the Foreign Service of the United States.
That’s a lot of high-powered secret stuff right there, with great potential for lining one’s own pockets at the expense of one’s own country.
At least 2079 emails Clinton sent or received on her unsecured home email server contained classified material. Initially, Clinton denied that this occurred, but (to quote the Maury Povich Show) that was a lie. She was asked to turn over these emails but said she couldn’t access them. That was a lie, too. According to a report on MacLatchyDC.com, Clinton could be guilty of espionage.
Legal experts say investigators could be looking into potential violations of Section 1924 of Title 18, which deals with the unauthorized removal and retention of classified documents or material, or even the Espionage Act, which makes it a crime for anyone “through gross negligence,” to allow the loss, theft or removal of classified information or fails to promptly report such mishandling to his superior.
I’ve completely given up on keeping my mouth shut about this election.
In “go-hard-or-go-home” fashion, let me just sum up my thoughts:
Don’t vote for or support Hillary Clinton.
She is corrupt, greedy, outright evil, and doesn’t give two hoots about America. She’ll get rich. You’ll get poor. We’ll end up in a war. We’ll be disarmed. And if you think she abused the office of Secretary of State, hold on to your halo.
If she becomes the President, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.
This Week in Preparedness…
Fires and floods threatened folks and destroyed property on both sides of the country, proving once again that disasters can strike anywhere, at any time. If you needed to evacuate, would you be ready?
California is on Fire Again
Not only is the state battling a heatwave, but it is also battling several enormous wildfires that are threatening lives and structures. Tens of thousands of acres are ablaze all over the state, as shown by this map from Cal Fire.
Fire season is off to an early start this year, despite the rains and snow that state residents had hoped would relieve the conditions caused by an excessive four-year drought. According to one article, the past 10 months have been record-breaking for fires and floods.
Anyone who lives near the forest should keep in mind that wildfires are a part of life. A couple of years ago, my family spent 10 days on the edge of the gigantic King Fire, which was a life-changing event for me as far as preparedness is concerned.
But honestly, the possibility of evacuation is something that could happen to anyone, due to industrial accidents, earthquakes, fires, storms, floods, and many other types of disasters. As we prepped our gear for this most recent threat, I made a checklist and paired it with some observations I made during the King Fire.
Meanwhile, Part of West Viriginia Is Submerged
On the other side of the country, West Virginia is reeling from historic floods that killed 26 people and floodeded more than 1200 homes. Thousands were forced to quickly evacuate.
The local sheriff had a harsh warning for would-be looters: “”Anyone we catch looting will be arrested and jailed If the residents of this area catch you first, you may not make it to jail.”
Are you ready for an evacuation during which time is of an essence? How quickly could you evacuate in an emergency? Are you prepared to defend your home and your family during the aftermath of a disaster?
Be sure to print out this free emergency evacuation checklist.
Anything to add to Survival Saturday?
Do you have any news links you want to share? Please post your links in the comments below and thank you so much for reading and participating!
About the Author
Daisy Luther is a coffee-swigging, gun-toting blogger who writes about current events, preparedness, frugality, voluntaryism, and the pursuit of liberty on her website, The Organic Prepper. She is widely republished across alternative media and she curates all the most important news links on her aggregate site, PreppersDailyNews.com. Daisy is the best-selling author of 4 books and lives in the mountains of Virginia with her two daughters and an ever-growing menagerie. You can find her on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.